No Coffee, No Belly, No Joke

A True Story

belly/coffee


I am assuming I am not alone when I say that birthday’s kind of freak me out. It’s not about aging per sei, but about change. In our youth we have our favorite ‘part’. Either we have great skin, or hair, or body or all three ;) As time moves along we obsessively watch those changes specifically.

I have always been blessed with a slim figure, not too skinny but still slim.. As my birthday neared I found myself in close to panic mode over my 0.35kg increase on the digital scales (a story for another day, are digital scales and blessing or a curse?)

My greatest fear of course being a drop in my metabolism, something that is typical with age. As I chose to drastically reduce my calorie intake I found myself going overboard with the coffee. Good old-fashioned Nescafe with a little skimmed milk, a total of 35 calories in total were the perfect fixer upper.

As the days went by my belly went up..The bloat that I experienced both frustrated and concerned me. Fearful worst-case scenarios crossed my mind as I sipped my coffee, what was going on?

As I walked into our living room space a few morning’s later I saw what must have been 3-4 unwashed coffee mugs…I had consumed them all after our beloved housekeeper Fely had gone to bed, so she hadn’t washed them yet. Could the bloat be coffee-related I asked myself…Only one way to find out, reduce the coffee.

Yep, sure thing, my tummy instantly subsided thankfully, and I am left wondering why. After a quick phone call to Zein Nimri to make sure I wasn’t imagining, then an enthusiastic Google search I was proven right, coffee will bloat you!

Turns out that the Nescafe I am so emotionally attached to is not the greatest quality coffee, and at $10 a jar, it comes as no surprise to me… The toxins in these overly-processed granulated coffees are extremely bloating.

Add to that the acidity that it creates in the stomach, a sure tummy-bloater. Then of course you’ve got the milk that I add to my coffee, another possible culprit.

Another thing is the spike in the stress hormone cortisol a result of too much coffee. A high cortisol level will bloat you. So if you have ever felt stressed and bloated at the same time know full well that it’s your cortisol spike.

Last but not least is water retention caused by too much coffee. Coffee is a natural diuretic, so too much of it and your body goes into panic mode. Worried about dehydration it starts to retain water to compensate, another bloater.

As you can tell, I ain’t no nutritionist so it would be silly for me to pretend to be one. I have briefly rushed through the possible culprits of my bloat, I may have missed a few. We’ll ask Zein Nimri to write us something detailed in the near future. The only thing that I am truly thankful for is the fact that my bloat was NOT age related ;)))



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May 14, 2018